I changed jobs last year. My title, children’s librarian, stayed the same – but much changed. I took a pay cut, moved to an area with a lower cost of living, and gained a better work-life balance. I left a library with advancement opportunities, great coworkers that I loved, and the resources of a larger library system. I went from a youth services department with 6 full-time staff and a robust part-time staff, to a library with 6 total staff members.
The library I work in now is two blocks from the ocean. The town I serve is only slightly larger than the one where I grew up. This is the type of environment I’ve long wanted to work in. I wrote my library school admissions essays about the value of libraries in rural areas using 2018 Washington Post reporting that named my home town as one of the most middle-of-nowhere places in the United States as my essay hook. I received scholarships for this goal.
I had many reasons for looking for new positions and leaving my former job, and I agonized about the decision. When my fiance’ and I saw one of my regular library kids on our regular walks multiple times in one week when I was trying to decide if I’d accept my new position, I cried and wondered if leaving would really be the right decision. I still wonder sometimes if I made the right decision.
Amidst all of this change (including getting engaged!), I spent a lot of time thinking about ambition. Society tells us that we should be ambitious for higher salaries, flashier titles, praise for the work we’re doing. And I get it – I’ve always been ambitious in these ways. My high school and undergrad resumes were littered with extra-curricular activities, leadership roles, and accolades. I’ve always wanted the praise and the accolades. I’ve aimed to achieve the markers of success that I’ve been conditioned to want.
But the longer I work in the library field, the more I can’t help but think that stereotypical career ambitions feel antithetical to the values at the core of librarianship. Higher-level positions and higher salaries often mean moving from one library system/community to another in pursuit of something that matches the next step on the ladder. Yet librarianship emphasizes community connections and building relationships with organizations and people to create the best services possible. Staff constantly looking for the next best thing makes establishing deep community ties difficult.
Yet, our institutions don’t always make it easy to stay and build those connections either. Public service salaries don’t match the level of education and work being put in by employees. Librarianship already has an extra barrier to entry with a standard requirement of a masters degree. Often, there are no positions to advance into that don’t require jumping directly into management. There’s a lack of management training or certification. And don’t get me started on the ways that municipalities actively work to destabilize their labor unions (my former union, AFSCME Local 1358 is still without a contract 8 months after the previous contract expired).
If there’s one thing librarians do get that matches ambition, it’s praise. People love to say good things about the library (and we do appreciate that!) – but there’s a big problem with vocational awe and librarianship. Never mind that libraries and librarians are under threat from Project 2025 and since I started collecting my thoughts on this the Institute for Museum and Library Services (IMLS) has been gutted by the current administration and the entire IMLS staff was placed on leave. Republican lawmakers have been considering bills that open librarians up to the threat of prosecution for their work for years now. So is the public attention really worth it if it threatens the work we’re doing? Should I even be thinking about ambition right now as my chosen field comes under attack?
I hope that my current job is one I stay in for a long time. I want to watch the children I’m working with now grow up. I want to establish stable and consistent services that are responsive to kids that I really have an opportunity to get to know. I want to build deep knowledge of my collection as I continue to do the collection development work here. And I love my job. I’m planning my first solo summer reading program (which is admittedly stressful). I’ve started really fulfilling outreach storytime relationships with two local childcare centers. Even though I don’t live in the community I work in at the moment, people are starting to recognize me out and about as Miss Macy – a moniker that I love. I recently participated in career day at the elementary school. My library just reopened after its first major renovation since the 1980s renovation project, which means I get to work in a beautiful, newly refreshed children’s room and have access to an expanded programming space.
But I’m also still looking for ambition. I want to be a library director someday, I love thinking about the way children’s services and adult programming and reference services can all intersect. I will read every blog post and article about public library theory and practice. I am excited to attend conferences and participate in professional development workshops.
I’m getting involved in the Association for Library Services to Children (ALSC), a division of the American Library Association (ALA). I’m finishing a term serving on the Early and Family Literacy Committee. I attended the 2024 Bill Morris Seminar which focuses on media evaluation through the lens of ALSC-administered book awards such as the Newbery and Caldecott awards. This too is ambition for me. I want to be on an awards committee; I want to work with others to serve our profession.
And yet, the pursuit of ambition through professional involvement makes me pause. Work with ALA and ALSC is unpaid volunteer work. While I’ve been lucky to be able to contribute to my committee work while on the clock and participate in committee meetings as part of my regular work day, this isn’t the case for all librarians. Similarly, I’ve been lucky to have robust support for professional development and conference attendance – but I may not always be able to fund attending conferences. There is privilege in being able to find ambition in this realm.
In 2023 I read All the Gold Stars: Reimagining Ambition and the Ways We Thrive by Rainesford Stauffer, which offers a challenge to think about moving away from stereotypical career ambition, and think about how we might be ambitious in other areas of our lives. In 2024, I was ambitious to develop and strengthen friendships as I prepared for one of my best friends to move out of the country. Currently, I’m trying to channel my ambition in my creativity through crafting and writing.
And yet, it’s so hard to break free of that career ambition. I think I’ve been telling myself that even if I’m making less money, I can compensate for that by being ambitious and pushing myself in my job and in my professional development. Even this blog (which I’ve not posted on in the last two years) grew from an undergrad class project into an ambition project. I love reading book blogs and librarian blogs, and I thought maybe being a blogger would be a way to find ambition and get my name out there.
In so many ways, I’m happy beyond my job right now, which in the long run matters the most. I’m planning my wedding to my partner of nearly 5 years. I live on the coast and can go to the beach whenever I want. I’m getting to know a new city, and exploring the fiber arts and poetry communities here. I’m not sure where this all leaves me when it comes to ambition at the end of the day. I think ambition, even with all its connotations, is deeply personal. I guess the thing I hope most is I can do good work in the eyes of the children and families I serve, and everything that comes after that is just extra.
Bookishly Bright 